Nessie's decesions
by EllyVeronica
Summary: Will ness regret all her chioces for the rest of eternity? Will she live that long?
1. Chapter 1

I'm still not quite use to all this changing so quickly. Everything I going so quick. It's been about five years since I was born and I look like a thirteen year old. According to a guy who came to help my family, the Cullen's, when I was about three months old, I would stop growing when I was about seven or eight.

I sort of liked that idea but we move so much. In the first two years of my life I lost count of how many time we moved. But I suppose that living with vampires you don't really stay in one place for a long period of time. But according to Alice, my aunt, they had stayed in Forks for about four years before I was born. That didn't help with my self-esteem.

But hey, I still have a loving and caring family wherever I go. But dad, Edward, does get really protective at times. Like once we just settled down and I was just sitting in the yard, and all of a sudden he comes out of nowhere and grabs me and puts me inside. We did find out he wasn't paranoid when we found three humans dead in the forest on our next hunting trip. He probably 'heard' someone.

Back to present, I'm sitting in the Lounge room and where everyone is just lounging around. Carlisle is at work. Jasper, Rose, Esme and Mum, Bella, are on a hunting trip. Which leaves Dad, Alice, Emmett and me back at home. I wasn't thirsty so dad said I didn't need to go. I can live of human food as well as blood. A plus for being half and half. The others should have gone. Their eyes are going dark and bruises are appearing under their eyes. But dad wanted to stay which then turned into a long thing with 'if you stay so do I'. Emmett isn't thirsty like me because he and I went about four days ago behind everyone's back. So he didn't need to go but Dad didn't want me on 'protected' by Emmett so he stayed and then Alice stayed but she convinced Jasper to go. He still has trouble. Sometimes.

I really feel like going into town but I know dad wont let me go by myself and it's all sunny. The phone rings. Alice moans.

"Great." Dad says with his own moan.

"I'll get it." I run to the phone. I hope its Jacob. I haven't talked to Jacob since like two weeks ago. I pick up the phone.

" Hello."

" Hey, Ness." My wish comes true. Again. Now I understand the moans now from dad and Alice.

" Jake! How are you? Are you okay? Why haven't you called for awhile?" I have a million other questions but I better take I breath. I hear a chuckle from somewhere in the room. I guess that it was Emmett. He always does that when I ask so many questions and I also guess that dad looks annoyed. But I also hear chuckles at the end of the phone. I relax. I love the way Jake laughs.

"Ness. I'm fine. Everything is okay and the reason why haven't called you is because you haven't been in one place for me to call you." I frown. There's certain edge to his voice. But he's right. We have been on the move for a while now. Dad and Mum wanted to move to a place where I would be 'safe'. But I think the main reason for dad was that he didn't want Jacob around. I sort of sighed. But not load. I could feel eyes on me. Dad. Yep he heard me. Great.

"Good, are you going to come see us?" Dad stands up and crosses the room. He holds his hand out for the phone. I frown at him and mouth no.

" Umm Ness that might not be a good idea."

"Why?"

"Well you know how I said everything okay? Well it isn't. Charlie's sick. La Push is in a bad state and weird things are happening." I drop the phone. I go over the words in my head. Dad realizes what's going on. Alice and Em cross the room. Alice hugs me and whispers in my ear.

"What's wrong?"

I just shake my head. Charlie sick, La Push in a bad state and weird things happening? I knew the moving jibe wasn't the only reason he didn't call. Dad picks up the phone.

"What?" a moment passes and dad stiffens and moans.

"Fantastic." His voice was heavy with sarcasm.

" Yeah you better stay there. No we can't come back I don't want to expose Ness to this." I roll my eyes.

" Dad we have to go back. Charlie's sick! Mum will back me up on this!"

"Okay bye Jacob." He hangs up.

"Wait I hadn't finished talking to him!"

"Yes you have and your mum wont find out about this." Alice looks at dad I surprise. Dad didn't keep things from mum.

"What ever."

"What is with your attitude!?"

"Maybe you haven't realized but I am a teenager. My brain has developed pass these years but my body hasn't! You were one once you know what I mean." At the end my voice became weaker.

"Ness I have and that is why I am tired of the attitude. Even though I am not really a teenager anymore when I met your mum I went against my better judgment. It shouldn't have happened." Gasps come from Emmett and Alice.

"So you are calling everything a mistake? Including me?" I'm still trying to understand everything.

"Yes I am saying that! I went past my better judgment making that deal with your mother and I shouldn't have done that."

I start to cry I can't believe what I was hearing. I run to my room. I feel eyes on my back. I feel tears start to overflow.

"Great job Ed." I hear footsteps behind me.

"No Alice, I'll go." Good. I can talk to Emmett and he doesn't think about things much.

"Okay." Alice replies and I could tell she was about to tell off dad.

I went to my room and slammed my door behind me. I ran to my bed and just let the tears overflow. Charlie may be my Grandpa but he was also my friend, a really close friend.

I hear a tap on the door.

" Ness, can I come in?"

" If I say no you'll come in anyway." I say between sniffs. He laughs but it was almost muted. He crosses the room and sits next to me on the bed. He rubs my back.

"You know why he said that and he didn't mean it."

" Yes I do. But mum should know and we should go see him." I ignore the second bit.

"Now you know why we can't do that. You are meant to be five and you look like a young teenager and your mum hasn't changed a bit." I look though my thick blonde curls. Emmett moves them behind my ear. He sees the tears.

" Don't cry. You know how much it hurts everyone when you do that." That was true. Mainly Rose though. Luckily she wasn't here.

"Em…" I couldn't continue I knew it probably wouldn't happen.

"What is it Ness?" His voice was really low so I was guessing Dad and Alice would be listening.  
I smile at him and lie.

"Nothing."

He raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. I'm as bad as a liar as mum. No one ever believes us.

He sighs. He knows me and he knows I won't budge.

"Okay. But if you need to talk just say so."

He gets up and goes to the door. With one last glance at me he leaves the room and closes the door.

Once again I let the tears take control of my body. I curl up on my bed and think about what dad had just said.

I was surprised that no one came to see me. But I suppose they have learnt with all my other crying fits. I only had a few but they were bad. They were worse when mum wasn't home.

That way why I sighed in relief when I felt mum was home. It's hard to explain. It must be a motherly daughter thing.

Only a minute later mum knocks on the door.

"Ness can I come in?"

I was tempted to say what I said to Emmett but I didn't.

"Yeah mum, come in."

She creeps through the door. This sort of confused me. Why would she be doing that?

"Er mum what's with the erm…creeping?"

"I don't know." We laugh together. Mum and I are the best of friends. I tell her everything but I wont tell her the thing between dad and I.

Mum come to me and sits next to me. I cuddle into her right side. I sigh. I feel so content when I'm with mum. She brushes my long hair out of my face and kisses my forehead. She whispers in my ear. Her cool breath makes me shiver.

"Ness what have I missed. I feel a lot of tension in your body."

I knew what she meant. Even I could feel the tension not only in me but also in the atmosphere. Jasper would be going crazy.

"Oh nothing mum. I'm just having your average teenage mood change." I try to sound convincing but mum doesn't buy it.

"Your not good at lying Ness."

"I get that from my mum." I smile at her. Or at least try.

But I knew that was true. I couldn't tell her about the thing with dad it would make her upset and angry. I didn't like it. Mum and dad are _really_ close. Even I can tell. It must be some love thing. Sort of like Jake and me. Oh Jake.

"Umm nothing really." I pause for a second and try to phase my next statement. "Jake called today. Everything is good at home."

Mum and I always call Forks and La Push home. The funny thing is the last bit actually sounded true.

"That's great. I wish I was here."

_No you don't._ I think to myself.

"Ness you look really tired. Have you been crying?" Great. Mum always gets worked up when she thinks I have been hurt.

"Mum its nothing. I just started crying out of the blue. Must be the hormones." Again it all sounded true. It startled me.

"Okay Ness. I better let you sleep." She sounded unsure.

"Night mum. Love you."

"I'll send your dad up."

"No! Um I mean its good I am really tired by the time he gets up here ill be asleep."

"Erm okay then 'Night Ness." She left the room still unsure.

That night I didn't sleep all to well. I kept on waking up and thinking about dad's words. I finally decided that the next day I would go to dad and talk to him about it. That would be hard considering everyone is home and if we go out into the forest to talk and things go bad I might get lost. But I decided that if that is what it takes to set things right that is what I'll do.

* * *

At about six the next day I went downstairs for breakfast. I was tired from the sleepless night. Everyone was surprised to see me up so early but no one said anything. I stumbled towards the kitchen. I fell at the entrance and Jasper caught me.

"You should try to cheer up." He whispered in my ear. His cool breath was very welcome since I had been sweating all night.

I smiled at him and said, "I'll try."

He smiled back and walked to the lounge where Alice was sitting. I continued into the kitchen and got a glass of milk and some toast. I wasn't hungry but I knew I would be later if I didn't eat now.

I walked out to the lounge room where everyone else was watching TV. Alice and Emmett looked at me with anxious eyes. They obviously remembered last night's events. I smiled at them and they relaxed. Dad and Mum where on the love seat whispering to each other and dad chuckled. Carlisle had gone to work at the hospital but Esme was alone on the other seat. I went and sat by her. She put an arm around me and whispered.

" I know about last night. Alice told me." I looked around but it seemed no one heard her but me.

"Did she tell anyone else?" I whispered back with an anxious edge to my voice.

She rubbed my arm.

"No."

I let out a breath of relief. That made dad turn to me.

I looked down at my toast. I felt his eyes on me but then mum said something to him, he chuckled and kissed her. This was typical behavior for mum and dad. I liked seeing them happy.

I finished my food in silence and walked out side. It was really windy so when I walked outside the wind slapped my face. I rubbed my own arms because I didn't feel like going inside to get a jacket. About a second later a jacket draped over my shoulders. Then hands rubbed my shoulders.

"You know better than to go out on a cold day with no jacket." It was dad. Typical.

"Yeah but I didn't look cold outside from inside."

We were silent for several seconds. After a while the silence was unbearable. I had to get this over and done with.

"Dad did you really mean what you said last night?" My voice was a whisper. I looked back at him and his eyes were closed.

"Yes." My heart sped up. That hurt. I sort of wanted him to say no. That he wasn't thinking. I knew he could hear what I was thinking but I continued like he couldn't.

"Do you ever wish you could go back and do it so I was never born?" I was just able to choke the words out.

"Yes I have Renesme." It was rare for dad to call me by my full name. So I knew he meant it.

"Would you? I mean if you had the choice?"

He took a deep breath. "Yes I would. You shouldn't have happened Renesme. You may not agree but everything would have been easier but I cant so…"

"So…"I ask.

"I can't change the past."

"You may not be able to change the past but you can change the future."

He looked down at me. "What does that mean." A frown was beginning to form on his forehead.

"What I mean is I can change the future so I don't exist. Everyone may remember me for awhile but they will forget."

"Renesme Carlie Cullen what are you thinking?"

"Can't you hear it?" I blinked, startled.

"You inherited part of you mums talent as well." He had frustration in his voice.

"Oh."

"Renesme what are you thinking?" He asked again. Starting to get really frustrated now.

" I'm saying tomorrow I am leaving for Italy."

I look at him and I see him deliberating.

" Dad I think I should. Mum may get hurt for a while. So would Rose but they'll be fine they have you and Em. Actually I'm leaving now. It'll make things easier."

He grabbed my arm as I turn towards the house.

"Renesme…. Your mum will kill me when she finds out I let you go."

"Don't worry dad. I'll leave her a note." Before he can speak to me again I run towards the house. I didn't stop at the door. I run straight up the stairs and into my room. I feel eyes on me the whole time.

I stuffed several pairs of clothes into my backpack and some food I kept in my room for when I didn't feel like going down stairs. I picked up my mobile and ring the airlines. I booked one flight straight to Italy.

There was a knock on my door. Then Alice was by my bed looking at my bed. On my bed I had my almost ready bag and food to put in it.

"Ness I can see everyone's futures now."

I knew she knew that I was leaving without seeing the bag. It was just a confirmation.

"I have to Alice."

I ran to my desk and started writing the letter to mum.

_Mum,_

_I'm so sorry. This has to be done. Ask dad to tell you one day. Forget everything in the last five years. I love you and everyone. I miss you already. You will never see me again so burn this letter to help you forget. Tell everyone else to forget too. I love you so much. That is why I'm doing this. I'm so sorry. Love you for every bit of forever._

_Renesme._

As I sealed the envelope I started to cry. Alice was beside me in an instant.

"Ness, tell me what's going on."

" I'm leaving Alice. I'm never coming back."

Alice looked at me in shock.

"You can't be serious."

"I am and I have to leave. I'll miss my plane."

I hugged her and kissed her cheek.

"Love you Alice. Give this to mum in three days time. That should give me enough time."

Before she could answer I was out the window and headed towards the garage. I'm glad I have a fake ID, even a fake drivers license.

I took my little convertible. At least this will help them forget. I look to where dad and I last talked. Dad was still standing there. Mum was making her way out to him.

I hit the accelerator and went the back way. I knew mum would see me leave but she would think it was a joy ride. I normally did that. But this wasn't a joy ride.


	2. Chapter 2

I slept most of the way. When I was awake I was crying. I didn't even say goodbye to Jake. He'll find out soon enough.

I was at Volterra during the day. So I knew they would be inside. They wouldn't want to expose themselves. I had been here once before but it was to say 'hi' with Carlisle. That was about a year ago. From now on there would be no Renesme Carlie Cullen. She will be dead.

I pay the taxi driver and go towards the Volturi's home.

Luckily I knew Italian. I could understand what all the food was. I bought some pasta. Which tasted delicious.

I didn't make it to the Volturi's place until nightfall.

Once inside I asked the human at the counter for Aro. She called a lady named Jane. I remembered her. She was cruel with her power, but if I had mums power as well as dads so she couldn't hurt me. At any rate I would rather not let her try.

About a minute later Jane and her twin Alec was in the large door way.

"Ah, who's this?" Jane was smiling.

"Um my name is Renesme. Renesme Cullen. I'm here to see the elders."

Jane looked confused for a second.

"How old are you child?"

"I'm five. You may not remember but because I'm half vampire-half human I have seven years of change. Which means I change quickly. We have figured out that I would be seventeen at seven."

"I understand now. Well come on my dear. Lets go see Aro."

* * *

That didn't go the way I planed. Instead of them killing me I have joined them. Alice would know because she wouldn't be able to see the Volturi anymore but she knows not to tell anyone. By now Alice would have given mum my note.

I hoped that no one would figure out what I meant about not coming back and come and see the Volturi. I guessed they weren't stupid enough to do that. I also guessed that they had told Jake. Both bonds between Jake and I and Mum and I were staining with my new decision. I hoped that the others on the other end of the bond couldn't feel the pain that I did.

The promise I made with Aro had its advantages. He promised me that he would help me extend my power in return of me using my power to help with the Volturi.

About two years after I joined the Volturi I finally finished growing. By this time I had pretty much forgotten about my life before the Volturi. That was a problem with having a human mind. You forget. Sometimes I had flashes of beautiful people with gold eyes. I guessed that was my previous family. There was always a part of me that felt painfully empty. Aro said it was the place my old family filled and that it may go away with time. I hoped that was true. Sometimes the pain was too much to bear. I wasn't the only new edition to the Volturi in those two years. One man called Noah came and he also had a power. His power was that he could go back in time and see what would have happened if a certain decisions weren't made. He helped Aro by showing him things that he wouldn't tell anyone but Aro. That made me curious at times.

Aro said I looked a lot like my father but had the attitude of my mother. I had bronzy golden hair, which was thick and was really curly, a round face and brown eyes. The brown eyes were my mothers. I was slim and tall. Aro said I was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. All of the guard called me their little sister. I was incredibly close to the whole guard.

Aro had taught me to extend my power. He taught me to read peoples mind. He also taught me to put images into other people's minds without touching them and transfer information from one mind to another. It helped in a sticky situation.

In my second year with the Volturi an unexpected visitor came. Apparently I was meant to know them. I couldn't remember them.

It was a lady called Tanya. She came with information about a vampire war about to happen between her, her cousins and some nomads.

Aro decided to go with part of the guard that included me. Tanya asked Aro if that would be a good idea. Aro just replied that I was one of his best and had to come. Tanya just shrugged.

We set of in different planes to the United States, Washington. I sat next to Tanya the whole way.

"Ness do you remember anything before you went to the Volturi?" This question shocked me. Did she know something about my life before the Volturi? If so, how much? I couldn't ask her these questions. I didn't want to remember.

"No I don't. I just remember not wanting to remember, to forget and to have all the others to forget too. I do have flash backs and dreams about vampires that drink animals blood like me and they have golden eyes. But I don't recognize the faces."

"You mean like me?" I look at her eyes for the first time properly. She had exactly the same eyes. But she was not one I dreamed of.

"Yes like you. If you don't mind I would like to sleep. I have a long day ahead of me."

She rolled her eyes. "Exactly like her father."  
"You know my father?" I was instantly alert.

She smiled at my expression. "Of coarse. He and your mother are my cousins. You will see them tomorrow." My mouth dropped open.

"Erm is that why you thought it wouldn't be a good idea for me to come?"

"Yes. Your father tried to forget like you asked him but he couldn't. He thought you died. He thought you went to the Volturi to kill yourself. In fact everyone thought that. I was surprised when Aro called you. You didn't look like you use to but you still look a fair bit like your dad." She sighed. "He is going to freak when he finds out you are here."

"Well he may not find out. I hope he doesn't."

"I hope so too." We stared at each other for a short period of time. Tanya seemed amazing. She was beautiful and she understood.

"Well goodnight."

" 'Night dear."

That was the last thing I remember of the trip.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up when we were approaching Seattle.

The rest of the guard was on an earlier trip and met us at the airport. We got in a black car with tinted windows. It was night but it would be morning before we got to our destination, Forks. That name rang a bell and I felt weird when I heard it. Like I was going home. I tried to forget that and tried to keep my mind on the job.

Once in Forks I got out of the car to search the town and check if any humans knew about this. It was standard procedure.

While going through people's minds I had flashbacks. I saw a man who had beautiful bronze hair; golden eyes and very pale skin run after a little girl. She had long curly hair a bit like mine. There was also a woman who was incredibly beautiful running after those two. She had brown hair and golden eyes like the male. I had regular flash backs like these but this one seemed more real. The three people ran into a house across the road from me. It seemed familiar but I kept walking and staying on task. I had to got to the clearing which Tanya had show us and said this was where the trouble was going to happen. On my way through the forest I heard someone's mind which startled me.

_I have to hurry. I can't be late. Ness may come. No she died. Come on put yourself together Jacob, their bloodsuckers. You can't get attached. You're only doing this for Bells._

I realized this person was going to the same place as me but was not a vampire. I had to beat this person to the clearing.

I must have beaten him because I burst through the trees when Aro was inches away from a man with blonde hair. All heads turned to my direction. The people we were standing opposite from where the people in my dreams and flashbacks. I picked out the male with bronze hair. He was holding the female's hand that had the brown hair. I ran to Aro.

"Aro, vampires aren't the only creatures in on this. I'm not sure who or what else is in on it but I heard someone's mind and he was saying that he couldn't get attached to bloodsuckers. He knew my name and he said he was doing this for a women called Bella."

I woman gasped and I looked up. It was the woman with brown hair.

Aro spoke.

"Bella my dear can you please come forward."

The man beside her growled. "Of coarse Edward you can come forward too."

I read their minds. The male was thinking about what Aro was thinking. I found out he could read minds too. Another edition to the guard was protecting Aro. She could protect him from powers like this man and also against physical attack.

The woman was wondering who I was and how Jake knew my name.

As they were moving forward and wolf burst through the trees.

"Oh my." Aro was as astonished as I was. Wolves weren't meant to be with vampires. This wolf must have been the thing I heard before.

Then I realized the empty part in me was filled. I had feelings going through me I did not recognize.

I focused on putting they two vampires' thoughts into Aro's mind. When I did Aro was very pleased.

"Thank you my dear."

I nodded in his direction. Confusion went through everyone's minds. The male with the others shifted and seemed uncomfortable. The woman beside him rubbed his arm.

"Don't change it Jasper. Don't change the atmosphere."

"I'm trying Alice but it's so intense."

"I know and I'm sorry Jasper."

Bella, Edward, Alice, Jasper? All of these names seemed familiar.

By this time Edward and Bella where at Aro.

Behind me one of the guards whispered in my ear.

"Do you remember these people?"

"I'm not sure. I get flash backs like normal but these seem more real." He nodded and went to stand by Aro. I followed.

* * *

I fell asleep halfway through the confrontation.

Aro woke me up about ten minutes before it will finish.

"Ness I need you to tell me…well you know." I nodded and sat up. The others were far away, on the other side of the clearing.

"Aro should I know these people?"

"Why do you ask that my dear?"

"Well all of these people keep thinking my name when they think of the Volturi. And according to Tanya my mother and father are her cousins and I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out because I keep getting flash backs that seem so alive. And that hole I had before…its filled in."

"Ness you should know these people. These are the people you wanted to forget… your family."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Ness I am going to tell them who you are. If you wish you may stay or you can come back with us."

"Aro Volterra is my home."

"No Renesme, Forks is your home."

I couldn't argue with that, I desperately wanted to but every part of me knew he was right.

Aro nodded as if he knew what I was thinking then I realized he had his arm on me.

"Come on dear. It's time."


	4. Chapter 4

We walked over to the others.

As we approached confusion went over the entire guard. They couldn't understand our facial expressions. The group that Aro was judging was huddled in a circle. As they heard the guard and turned. I dropped my eyes to the ground. I couldn't face them. I felt eyes on me and I blushed. I touched my face in confusion. What is this?

Aro touched my hand and took it in his.

"You're blushing my dear."

"Oh."

"So she's human?" The blonde one talked.

"No she isn't. She is half vampire-Half human. I am surprised you don't recognize her." Aro was backing into revealing who I am.

"Why should I recognize her…?"

The man stopped and I had to raise my eyes.

As I did I regretted it. This was the first time I was close enough for them to see me properly. There were several gasps from the group.

I searched their minds. Yes several knew who I was. Bella, the blonde one who I think is called Carlisle and the wolf that I think is called Jacob noticed.

Edward was the first to speak.

"Seriously Carlisle you cant think that is Renesme?"

Bella whimpered and hugged closer to Edward. He pulled her closer. They obviously did remember. I was starting to remember small details. Aro was still holding my hand.

"Good. Continue to remember." He whispered in my ear.

"Edward look at the brown eyes, the bronzy hair and she is half and half. That would explain why Alice couldn't see them coming."

"Edward I think he's right." Bella spoke for the first time. Her voice was beautiful. But it kept on breaking. It hurt me to see her putting in so much effort to speak. I went to take a step but Aro stopped me.

"Not yet."

Behind us the guard was beginning to understand.

I spoke for the first time.

"This man is right. Carlisle right? Yes I'm starting to remember. But I'm not sure what is real and what isn't. I have been building a wall for the last two years. Seeing you it's starting to fall but I think I left something that is helping it to stay up."

All of the people across from me stared at me in shock. But then a wave of calm went over them. I felt tired.  
"Jasper stop it, you're making her tired." The other male said. I realized he must be Emmett.

"Sorry." Jasper mumbled.

I looked across the group. A man with short hair came to the front of the group. Aro took a step back. This man was not welcome. I stepped back with him but for some reason I wanted to run to him, to hug him. I shuddered at the thought. This man was a werewolf for god's sake!

I remembered these people had made a deal with werewolves.

"Yes. You did leave a note. You asked Bella to burn it. But she never did. It was the only thing to remind us of you."

As this man, I think Jacob, spoke I had a strange feeling. Like having him here changed everything. Having him here wanted me to stay…no I cant I have to go back with Aro.

"My dear, stay. That is what you truly want."

I stared at him and tears flowed out of my eyes. I had cried a fair few times over the last few years. But this time was different, I wasn't crying because I was sad, I was because I was confused.

"Aro, I cant. I remember I had a fight or miss communication with him," I pointed toward Edward, "That is why I left. I have made a home at Volterra and I belong there." Aro rubbed my arm.

"You're thinking and feeling differently. Follow your heart." I was so confused with the feelings I am having.

Aro just nodded in understanding.

Edward moved forward, leaving Bella, his face, for some odd reason, sad.

"Ness, if that is who you are, I didn't mean a word of it."

I stared at him for a moment trying to remember.

I just shook my head.

_I can't remember. Something is stopping me remember._

I sent that to all the minds in the clearing.

Bella gasped and walked forward taking a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"This may help."

"You heard her?" Edward sounded confused.

"Err yeah. All of a sudden a message was in my mind."

Edward looked between Bella and I with shock on his face.

Bella ignored him and paced me a piece of paper. It had writing on it.

_Mum,_

_I'm so sorry. This has to be done. Ask dad to tell you one day. Forget everything in the last five years. I love you and everyone. I miss you already. You will never see me again so burn this letter to help you forget. Tell everyone else to forget too. I love you so much. That is why I'm doing this. I'm so sorry. Love you for every bit of forever._

_Renesme._

Once I read it through twice everything went black.

* * *

First I felt cold hands on my face. They felt nice on my now sweaty skin.  
Voices I couldn't understand were becoming more pronounced.

"Carlisle what's wrong with her?"

"Edward let her mind protect itself. She has broken mental barriers today. It has exhausted her."

"She'll wake up soon. The future is going blurry again." Alice seemed annoyed. How did I know that was Alice? I just knew I suppose.

"I wish I could here her."

"Cant you?" That was Bella, for sure.

"No she inherited stuff from you too, love." He didn't sound very happy with that idea.

Both of these people seemed worried about me. I felt the mental barrier that Carlisle was talking about, falling. It hurt. I didn't like the feeling of years of work crumbling in a matter of minutes.

I felt warm hands on my face and a lot of life flowing out of me into that person. That person gasps and stumbles backwards. My heart rate decreases.

"Jacob what did you do?!"

"Nothing. I just touched her face and all of this life came into me."

I didn't have to see to know everyone was staring at Jacob. I felt weak but my eyes fluttered open.

"Jake."

He stumbles towards me and grabs my hand. He had a desperate look on his face.

"Ness, please take what ever you just gave me. You look really sick. Ness please." He was very anxious.

"Oh Jake." I put my other wobbly hand on the side of his face. He leaned into it. "Jake you just took what was yours. Nothing more."

A horrified look crossed his face.

"My whole life is yours, Jake." My voice was becoming incredibly weak.

He grabbed my hand from his face desperately. I was so weak I couldn't read his mind or show him pictures. So weak I couldn't even do it when I was touching him.

"Ness take it back. I need to save you."

I try to smile at him. It hurts. I still succeed.

"Jake you have saved me."

I blackout once again.


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up back at Volterra. I know this because of the building.

I wonder if that was all a dream. It must have been. It was just my imagination going crazy.

But the wall in my mind was gone. I remembered everything, every detail of my life. That dream must have been trying to prepare me for the flow of information that just hit me.

I ignore it and go down the hall as normal. The smell of blood fills the air. Great. The guard would be thirsty. When was the last time they fed? Four days ago? I'm not entirely sure. This meant I better go outside today or tomorrow and catch some animals to drain.

I meet Aro and the other elders, Marcus and Caius, in the meeting room. They look a little stressed.

Then I realized. I couldn't hear their minds. I couldn't hear anything, out of the normal that is.

I start freaking out and run towards Aro. I stumble about a meter away and he catches me. I look at him with wide eyes and let him read my mind.

"Yes, we know Ness. You see all that wasn't a dream. That werewolf drained a lot of life out of you. I touched you when you were doing it to read you mind. I think you were trying to tell him too much at once but you didn't regret getting weaker.

"That confused me. You must like him. No love him."

I tried to understand his words. It was several moments before I could speak.

"What happened after I blacked out the second time?" I looked down as I said this.

" I talked to your parents and they agreed it would be best for you to come back here and then decide later if you wanted to return." He frowned. "But Emmett didn't like the idea. Neither did his mate and Alice and her mate. Jasper and Rosalie? Yes that's their names. They thought you belonged with them. But surprisingly Edward said you wanted to go back here. He explained you were stripped of your abilities when you had that intercourse with that werewolf." He seemed appalled by the idea. "But he didn't receive them.

"Now my dear. Would you like to stay with us or go back to the Cullen's?"

The question would have been simple if he had asked me before our trip but know it was harder. I wanted to stay but I wanted to go back to the Cullen's as well. No I will stay here it's safer and I belong here.

"No, I'll stay here."  
"Are you sure?" He was asking as if I wasn't. To tell the truth I wasn't entirely sure myself.

"At the moment, yes."

"Okay. If you change you mind the door is always open." I smile at him. I like Aro.


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a year and I still can't find my bloody powers! It is so annoying. I guess I know now why Edward use to get so frustrated.

I keep thinking if I should go back or at least call them. But then I decide if they want to know more or just talk they can come here. Before I would be able to hear their thoughts from all the way over in Italy when they're in America, but no more.

Noah, (the other addition, not quite new anymore) is apparently showing an interest in me. Dimitri, (one of the guards) tells me I should pay attention. That Noah is a nice bloke and I should give him a chance. But how can I do that when I have all the memories of Jacob? I can't tell anyone about my relationship or what was my relationship with Jacob. Aro was distraught when Jacob 'took' my powers. But the thing is, I miss all of my family like hell and I still want to see them even when I've convinced myself otherwise.

It's around 4pm and I am about to go hunting. I still eat/drink whatever, animal blood. I have disappointed Carlisle enough without adding this one humungous complication to things.

But something feels wrong. It feels like I should stay for some odd reason. That Aro or someone from the guard or council (that is what we call Aro, Marcus and Caius.) will need me. Its odd when I feel that but yeah normally my gut is right.

But I am getting incredibly thirsty. I could eat human food but it doesn't help for that long only about an hour or two. That will have to do; this…gut feeling is too strong.

* * *

I was right if I didn't stay I would have missed something big. The only reason I know right now was because Aro thought I should.

We got a note from the Cullen's. Well Bella really.

_Dear Renesme,_

_The last time I saw you that short year ago; I was hoping it was you. Obviously prayers do get answered. Before you say I don't pray like I know you would, I started the day I got your letter. Asking whoever was listening to ask you to come home. It was exactly answered in the fact that you didn't stay but I saw you where safe and that is all I can ask._

_Your father doesn't know that I am sending this letter; I thought that would be for the best. You know him. _

_Anyway, I think you should try and stay away from here, as in wherever we are or wherever Jake is. It will only result in heartbreak. When you didn't come back the second time everyone changed, they had too much hope that you where going to come back, come home. _

_I guess not all prayers and wishes are answered after all._

_Anyway, I hope you are well. If you write back address it to only me. You know our permanent address._

_I love you so much and I miss you,_

_Bells a.k.a. mum_

I was crying by the end of the letter. Now I really wish I left to go hunting when I was meant to and ignore my gut.


End file.
